can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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