If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
