Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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