It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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