I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize