You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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