ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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