is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
