He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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