(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize