Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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