Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
