im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
