i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
