pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
