And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
