is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
