he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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