He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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