If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
