so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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