thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
