too bad you live with your parents still
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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