did you get engaged???
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
