I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize