I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
