do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
