You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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