So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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