The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
