Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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