This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
