wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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