eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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