OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
