In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize