So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
