I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
