Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
