how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
