awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
