She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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