Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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