It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
