just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
