dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
