i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
