I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
