Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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