I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
