I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
