We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
