she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
