We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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