My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
