I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
