So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
