There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
