I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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