Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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